The Power Of Hope
Dr. John H. Sklare
In my opinion, there is nothing more complex or more fascinating than human behavior.
I am always intrigued by the following fact - what tends to motivate and inspire
one person will often have absolutely no impact at all on another. That’s why it’s
so difficult to offer advice and direction that works for everyone. However, as
a writer, a teacher, a therapist, a life strategist and an overall observer of the
world around me, I have found one universal truth. One of the clearest indicators
of future success and one of the strongest influences on the human spirit is the
presence or absence of hope. Hope is motivations fuel. For without it, there is
no motivation. For those wanting to restructure their lives and reshape their bodies,
hope is an extremely powerful and positive force.
The factors that contribute to success and compel people to continue in the face
of opposition has always fascinated me. As a matter of fact, this kind of thinking
is precisely what drew me to psychology in the first place. I actually remember
what could be my first real “psychology moment”, if you will. I don’t remember
exactly how old I was but I was very young and had just finished watching the movie
- The Wizard Of Oz which, to this day remains one of my favorite stories of all
time.
After the movie had ended, I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and get ready
for bed. As I was standing there, in front of the mirror, I had this very intense
and insightful moment. I was thoughtfully looking deep into my eyes when a scene
from the movie flashed into my mind and literally froze me in my tracks. It was
the scene where Toto pulls the curtain aside and reveals the little old man. As
you may recall, he’s standing behind a partition pulling levers, pushing buttons
and screaming into the microphone, “I am the great and powerful Oz. Pay no attention
to the man behind the curtain.”
It was at that moment that I had the following thought. I wondered if the body that
I saw reflected back at me in that mirror was really me or if the real me was behind
those eyes somewhere pulling levers and pushing buttons bringing life and movement
to my body. Quite a heady thought for a young boy but this was quite an astounding
revelation to me. It was truly a defining moment in my life. For it was at that
moment that I realized that who I am is not what I see. This was a
profound event for me that influenced my career path and continues to shape my perception
of the world around me.
However, as time passed and I began to seriously study human behavior, I began to
see how these two aspects of the self are intimately connected. The physical body
that you see reflected back at you in the mirror is defined, motivated and shaped
by the thinking part of you inside. So, if you follow my analogy, your body and
your life are a literal reflection of what levers you pull and buttons you push.
It’s the thinking part of you (the manager of your behavior) that makes all the
decisions. And it’s those decisions that ultimately create the shape of your body
and define the quality of your life. Simply put, your lot in life is the direct
result of the choices that you make and the actions that you take. Just as that
little old man behind the curtain could control Oz, you also have the ability to
take control. It’s all about what buttons you push and what levers you pull. But
it all begins with hope.
For example, I received an email from a woman who was working on losing weight.
Look at what hope did for her. Her email read as follows:
“I actually feel hope -- and that is something I cannot put a price on. Thank you
so much! I work 12-hour days, four days a week, but I find I can still follow your
menus due to their simplicity and convenience. Words cannot describe how grateful
I feel. God bless you Dr. Sklare”.
This woman’s words provide a great proclamation for the power and influence of hope.
This woman was right – hope is priceless. It’s a very precious commodity. You can’t
buy it, borrow it or steal it but you simply must have it in order to succeed. Hope
is what breathes life into your dreams and keeps you going when the going gets tough.
The dictionary defines hope as “A feeling that what is wanted will happen; desire
accompanied by expectation.” This is why hope is so critical and so powerful.
No matter what you’re goal, you’re potential for success increases tremendously
if you expect to succeed. Hope is the foundation of that expectation.
All of this talk about hope was actually triggered by something my late wife shared
with me a few years back. She told me that she had found what she believed to be
the most inspirational message that she had ever read. It appeared on the website
of the Brain Tumor Research Center at Duke University. It is credited to Ellen Stovall
of the National Coalition for Cancer Survivorship and reads as follows:
"With communication, comes understanding and clarity;
With understanding, fear diminishes;
In the absence of fear, hope emerges;
And in the presence of hope, anything is possible."
What a powerful statement. I was particularly drawn to the last line, “And in the
presence of hope, anything is possible”. Hope is such a critical ingredient
in the recipe for success. It may very well be the driving force behind motivation.
For without hope, there is no dream. Without hope, there is no motivation. Without
hope, there is no success.
I guess it really does all come down to what levers you pull and buttons you push.
Hope, however, is what motivates you to grab those controls in the first place.
Whether you’re fighting an illness, recovering from a physical or emotional injury
or wanting to lose weight to improve the overall quality of your life, the presence
or absence of hope will influence the choices that you make along the way. One way
to reconnect with your own sense of hope and make this powerful motivator a part
of your everyday life, is to write the word “HOPE” on a piece of paper and
carry it with you in your pocket or purse. This way you will never be “hopeless”
and that paper will serve as a constant reminder of your goal. Hope is the spark
that ignites your motivational fire and moves you down the road toward success.
Wishing You Great Health,
Dr. John H. Sklare
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